unforesheen. | a blog by Shinta Utami: POETRY

No comments

i wrote this just in case you miss how my arms wrapped around you. how our fingers intertwined. how your body sensed the warmth of my body. how the scent of my favorite perfume possessed into your lungs. how my pink cherry lips tasted, and how i burst out laughing to your not-really-funny jokes. i wrote this just in case you miss me.

i wrote this just in case you become the only one awake when all the world's sleeping. when you barely close your eyes 'cause mind won't stop wondering. when everything seems so wrong and you didn't know what you did wrong. when you need someone to tell you that everything's going to be just alright and when you need a company for the night. i wrote this just in case you need me.

i wrote this just in case you start to doubt yourself; every single word you said starts losing its meaning. every single move you make gets you farther away from where you call home. every single thought remains to be untold. i wrote this just in case you start to doubt your own feelings and decided one day when you wake up, to end what we've started. i wrote this just in case you leave.

because when the time has come and it's time for you to leave, i'd be left with nothing but holes in me. the pieces of you who used to cover them will be gone to cover somebody's holes. and me, the wind will get through these holes and starts to erase every piece left of me. and the sun, it'll work in pairs with the wind to burn out all the sweet memories that we had.

i wrote this just in case you need to be reminded. of every place that we've gone to. of every laughter that we shared. of every tear that streamed down our faces. of each dream that we built. of every phone calls that we made. of every sound of our heartbeats when we kissed. of every "i love you"s. of every "i'll never let you go"s. i wrote this just in case you forget, how i said i'll always be there for you because i did, and i will be there for you. no matter what the circumstances.

because if, it, just in case, really did happen, and you finally got to move on, then i hope that one day, you will wake up to your mind flashes back to you and i, silently watching the sun sets in that building's rooftop without an alibi, and just enjoying how fast the time flies by. because i wrote this just in case you care.

i wrote this just in case you care enough to realize how fucked up i am before we met and how in a sudden you just showed up and bring my life back from the dead. it's like having myself back on the surface when god knows how long have the ocean buried my face.

but i also wrote this just in case you care enough to realize how many phases you have gone through and how constant the love i have for you. it's not always been easy and you tend to always be so busy, but i managed to stay and fight the uneasy because i know anything other than you, us, it's unworthy.

and finally, i wrote this, today, just to be ready. though, i'll never be ready.

because maybe tomorrow, or next week, or five years from now, or after i gave birth to our first child, there will come a time of you leaving.

and by then, i hope you won't stop searching, for the light that already goes out.

and by then, i hope you will be finding, yourself carrying the light away from home.

you will be sorry for getting jealous of the sun just because it shines brighter than our lights,

because you forgot that the sun shines for all,

but our light shines only just for us.

you will realize, by then,

that the only way to keep the light on,

is to bring it back home.

bring you back home.

to me.

to us.

—s.d.u

No comments

If the human body was a train
And locomotive was the brain
Then I'd pull myself closer
To where we were before
Just one more station,
And we'll get away with this burden
But instead darling,
I work so hard
'till I forget it hurt
And I missed my last train home.

—s.d.u

About me

recent posts

Blog Archive

PLAYLIST OF THE DAY

LATEST WHINES

BOOKS I LOVE

If the human body was a trainAnd locomotive was the brainThen I'd pull myself closerTo where we were beforeJust one more station,And we'll get away with this burdenBut instead darling,I work so hard'till I forget it hurtAnd I missed my last train home.

—s.d.u

About me

recent posts

Blog Archive

PLAYLIST OF THE DAY

LATEST WHINES

BOOKS I LOVE

If the human body was a train
And locomotive was the brain
Then I'd pull myself closer
To where we were before
Just one more station,
And we'll get away with this burden
But instead darling,
I work so hard
'till I forget it hurt
And I missed my last train home.