I WROTE THIS JUST IN CASE
i wrote this just in case you miss how my arms
wrapped around you. how our fingers intertwined. how your body sensed the
warmth of my body. how the scent of my favorite perfume possessed into your
lungs. how my pink cherry lips tasted, and how i burst out laughing to your
not-really-funny jokes. i wrote this just in case you miss me.
i wrote this just in case you become the only one
awake when all the world's sleeping. when you barely close your eyes 'cause
mind won't stop wondering. when everything seems so wrong and you didn't know
what you did wrong. when you need someone to tell you that everything's going
to be just alright and when you need a company for the night. i wrote this just
in case you need me.
i wrote this just in case you start to doubt
yourself; every single word you said starts losing its meaning. every single
move you make gets you farther away from where you call home. every single
thought remains to be untold. i wrote this just in case you start to doubt your
own feelings and decided one day when you wake up, to end what we've started. i
wrote this just in case you leave.
because when the time has come and it's time for
you to leave, i'd be left with nothing but holes in me. the pieces of you who
used to cover them will be gone to cover somebody's holes. and me, the wind
will get through these holes and starts to erase every piece left of me. and
the sun, it'll work in pairs with the wind to burn out all the sweet memories
that we had.
i wrote this just in case you need to be
reminded. of every place that we've gone to. of every laughter that we shared.
of every tear that streamed down our faces. of each dream that we built. of
every phone calls that we made. of every sound of our heartbeats when we
kissed. of every "i love you"s. of every "i'll never let you
go"s. i wrote this just in case you forget, how i said i'll always
be there for you because i did, and i will be there for you. no matter what
the circumstances.
because if, it, just in case, really did happen,
and you finally got to move on, then i hope that one day, you will wake up to
your mind flashes back to you and i, silently watching the sun sets in that
building's rooftop without an alibi, and just enjoying how fast the time flies
by. because i wrote this just in case you care.
i wrote this just in case you care enough to
realize how fucked up i am before we met and how in a sudden you just showed up
and bring my life back from the dead. it's like having myself back on the
surface when god knows how long have the ocean buried my face.
but i also wrote this just in case you care
enough to realize how many phases you
have gone through and how constant the love i have for you. it's not always
been easy and you tend to always be so busy, but i managed to stay and fight
the uneasy because i know anything other than you, us, it's unworthy.
and finally, i wrote this, today, just to be
ready. though, i'll never be ready.
because maybe tomorrow, or next week, or five
years from now, or after i gave birth to our first child, there will come a
time of you leaving.
and by then, i hope you won't stop searching, for
the light that already goes out.
and by then, i hope you will be finding, yourself
carrying the light away from home.
you will be sorry for getting jealous of the sun
just because it shines brighter than our lights,
because you forgot that the sun shines for all,
but our light shines only just for us.
you will realize, by then,
that the only way to keep the light on,
is to bring it back home.
bring you back home.
to me.
to us.
—s.d.u
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