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unforesheen. | a blog by Shinta Utami


aku kuat karena kau dekat,
namun jika suatu saat aku tak kuat,
itu bukan berarti karena kau sudah tak dekat,
hanya saja ruang dan waktu yang memaksaku untuk berkutat
dan dengan sekuat tenaga mencoba memberi sekat
diantara kita yang sudah saling melekat
situasi ini pasti akan terasa berat,
salah satu dari kita mungkin akan terjerat
tetapi aku tahu bahwa kita sudah saling terikat,
takkan semudah itu untuk kita berhenti bersepakat
karena sesungguhnya apabila kita lihat lebih dekat,
ini hanyalah ujian untuk naik satu tingkat

—s.d.u

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i envy

the cup of coffee that gets to kiss your sleepy lips awake every cold and bitter morning

i envy

the blanket that gets to keep your body warm from the damp cold white winter

i envy

the fireworks that get your attention every single time it burst out in the sky upon you

i envy

the old lady from the bakery that gets to be greeted "good morning" every time you walk past through

i envy

everything that gets to be with you


—s.d.u



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this is another 1 am
this is the time when i took the blame
and wanting you to know how sorry i am
for being a person i've said i'll never became
because at first, it was all fun and games
until i realized, without you i will sure be damned

—s.d.u

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i wrote this just in case you miss how my arms wrapped around you. how our fingers intertwined. how your body sensed the warmth of my body. how the scent of my favorite perfume possessed into your lungs. how my pink cherry lips tasted, and how i burst out laughing to your not-really-funny jokes. i wrote this just in case you miss me.

i wrote this just in case you become the only one awake when all the world's sleeping. when you barely close your eyes 'cause mind won't stop wondering. when everything seems so wrong and you didn't know what you did wrong. when you need someone to tell you that everything's going to be just alright and when you need a company for the night. i wrote this just in case you need me.

i wrote this just in case you start to doubt yourself; every single word you said starts losing its meaning. every single move you make gets you farther away from where you call home. every single thought remains to be untold. i wrote this just in case you start to doubt your own feelings and decided one day when you wake up, to end what we've started. i wrote this just in case you leave.

because when the time has come and it's time for you to leave, i'd be left with nothing but holes in me. the pieces of you who used to cover them will be gone to cover somebody's holes. and me, the wind will get through these holes and starts to erase every piece left of me. and the sun, it'll work in pairs with the wind to burn out all the sweet memories that we had.

i wrote this just in case you need to be reminded. of every place that we've gone to. of every laughter that we shared. of every tear that streamed down our faces. of each dream that we built. of every phone calls that we made. of every sound of our heartbeats when we kissed. of every "i love you"s. of every "i'll never let you go"s. i wrote this just in case you forget, how i said i'll always be there for you because i did, and i will be there for you. no matter what the circumstances.

because if, it, just in case, really did happen, and you finally got to move on, then i hope that one day, you will wake up to your mind flashes back to you and i, silently watching the sun sets in that building's rooftop without an alibi, and just enjoying how fast the time flies by. because i wrote this just in case you care.

i wrote this just in case you care enough to realize how fucked up i am before we met and how in a sudden you just showed up and bring my life back from the dead. it's like having myself back on the surface when god knows how long have the ocean buried my face.

but i also wrote this just in case you care enough to realize  how many phases you have gone through and how constant the love i have for you. it's not always been easy and you tend to always be so busy, but i managed to stay and fight the uneasy because i know anything other than you, us, it's unworthy.

and finally, i wrote this, today, just to be ready. though, i'll never be ready.
because maybe tomorrow, or next week, or five years from now, or after i gave birth to our first child, there will come a time of you leaving.
and by then, i hope you won't stop searching, for the light that already goes out.
and by then, i hope you will be finding, yourself carrying the light away from home.
you will be sorry for getting jealous of the sun just because it shines brighter than our lights,
because you forgot that the sun shines for all,
but our light shines only just for us.
you will realize, by then,
that the only way to keep the light on,
is to bring it back home.
bring you back home.
to me.
to us.


—s.d.u


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you're a force of nature
that i have no idea will occur
and through every failure,
though, you're still endure

- s.d.u
10.04.16

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Aku adalah rintik hujan yang rela berjatuhan
dan masuk ke dalam pori-pori,
demi temu,
Kau serupa Tanah,
yang kering nan tandus,
tak berarwah.

Dan Cinta,
ialah ilalang liar,
yang tumbuh begitu saja,
tanpa rencana,
tetapi mampu menutupi luka

—s.d.u
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About me


Hi! My name is Shinta. I like poetry, beauty, and hearing people's stories. Here you'll find bits and pieces of me. Xoxo.

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      • Meningkat
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      • envy
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      • Another 1 AM
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      • I WROTE THIS JUST IN CASE
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BOOKS I LOVE

It Ends with Us
No Matter the Wreckage
How to Be a Poet
Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe


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