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unforesheen. | a blog by Shinta Utami



and I hope you’ll find it. I hope you’ll find it in your darkest times so that it will guide you back into the light. I hope you’ll find it on your way as you pass the street so that it will give you another day to live. I hope you’ll find it at the top of your lungs as you scream so that it will show you how to fix things. I hope you’ll find it. I really do hope you’ll find your own to call home, soon.

—s.d.u
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life's full of bad decisions and regrets,
and they claim your body as a disgrace,
you even sit in the corner sometimes just to avoid the stares
that you get from those familiar faces
no, you're not upset,
you just don't think that it was a race
for you, angels are not those prettiest
and being in a house you purchased in your 22 is not the place of happiest
because you grow flowers in the darkest places,
painted lips and fingertips when no one watches
and with a heart as deep as the ocean trenches,
you just want to be something that matters,
as littlest as your warm embraces.

—s.d.u 



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Ibu kota-ku padat,

Terlalu banyak tempat,
Habis wilayah darat,
Muncul proyek para pejabat



Ibu kota-ku jahat,
Hidup gaya barat,
Dinilai lupa akan adat,
Ditangkap aparat



Ibu kota-ku gawat,
Sumber segala penat,
Berbeda pendapat,
Diberi julukan bejat



Tapi... Ibu kota-ku hebat,
Pembangunannya cepat,
Banyak makanan lezat,


Hanya satu harapan tersemat,

Semoga tak campuri lagi urusan beribadat.


—s.d.u
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It was a Sunday morning. 

Mike just got back in town again after six long months away. Like he always does, he went to The Brew, everyone’s most favorite local coffee shop to grab his Americano. But then, he heard a familiar sound. A female’s voice. Cheerfully saying, “Thanks. Have a good day!”. With the door slamming behind him, he stopped his steps.

“Shelby,”

As the name came out from his mouth, a pair of hazel eyes across the room meet the other’s eyes who just called upon her name. There was nothing else—but silence for the next 7 seconds in that coffee shop. Just like the blowing wind, she walked past him out of the coffee shop until someone opened the door making the bell hung on it rang.

“Wait, please”, he said.

She stopped her steps, standing still. As he walked closer to her, her mind flashed back to those happy days of them being together. But, her lips started moving apart making a sound of, “What do you want?”

“Look, I know what I did was so wrong and unforgivable. I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just need you to hear me out.”, he said nervously. In a trembling voice, she replied, “I can’t. I got somewhere else to be.”

As she took a step staying away from him, a hand gesture held her arm. “Please. Don’t leave. Let me explain.”, he begged.

Hearing that, her mind went to six months ago. February 19th. It was the day he decided to obey his parents’ will. To make an engagement with another girl of their blessing—which also happened to be his childhood friend, Erica. 

With all of the anger inside her, she refused his grip and yelled, “You left me, remember?!”. She couldn’t help but let a tear streamed down her face.

“I know. I am sorry. I really am. I’m sorry for all the engagement thing. It was a big mistake. But, I called off the wedding. And here I am now, Shelby. I love you and all I ever wanted is just to be with you.” he told her.

She responded nothing but scoff. 

“Please,” he begged one more time.

“Mike. You’re just wasting not only my time but also yours doing this. Not to mention that it’s a bit late for you to realize and for me to attend my appointment.”, she replied.

Still finding a way to convince her, he grabbed her hand once again and said, “Please. Just one more chance, it’s all that I ask. I love you, Shelby.”

As her hand reached his and moved it away, she told him, “Well, I don’t. Not anymore. Besides, if you do really love me in the first place, you wouldn’t have to wait until six months later. Would you, Mike?”

"Shelby, I know it was all my fault. I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice.", he said.

"Oh, you did. Of course, you did. You have always had a choice. You just didn't choose me.", she replied.

And just like that, she left him in front of that everyone’s most favorite coffee shop. The same way he left her six months ago. In pain. Realizing what he just lost. Erasing his expectation of a second chance, 'cause there won’t be any.

Guess, the place had no longer become everyone’s most favorite anymore. At least, not for him.

(This story as published on Steller)
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About me


Hi! My name is Shinta. I like poetry, beauty, and hearing people's stories. Here you'll find bits and pieces of me. Xoxo.

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